Being naked with people
A guided meditation I did today asked me to imagine myself at a beach and be at one with the ocean water. Immediately I drew from being naked on a beach in Hawaii with other naked people, and how the water felt, and how being naked feels, and how I observed other people being naked feeling to them and how it felt to me to see them that way.
People feel amazing being naked.
It’s like anything else.
Something feels good to someone but they kind of might look around to see how other people are acting and seeing it and if everybody was horrified they’d all be scrambling to find clothing. And if everybody was horrified AT them they would probably feel a load of shame. But if everybody is fine with being naked it seems like everyone just kind of feels freer together.
Contrasted with hiding or not being seen which I don’t associate with a feeling of sinking in and having that wide and natural normal feeling. If everyone around is hiding it doesn’t mean it feels good to hide to me.
If everyone is fine with themselves it seems to influence the opposite way.
I recently sent out a complete recorded therapy session where I cried and talked about sex and stuff.
At this point in my life I don’t see much reason to not let people know about me. I want everyone to know about me in my honest form honest state. What if everyone were naked?
It’s just bodies. It’s just thoughts.
It’s fun thinking about how this blog is for me to work things out for myself because it is changing the lens a little from what I would explain if it were written solely for an audience. There is still a little bit of that but the borders of the river so to speak keep me a little narrower. This is for my own mind and understanding.
That fits in well with what I was just thinking - about how some thoughts are controversial and could be used against me in some way by someone wielding power, or the ominousness of a surveillance state and how people would have to decide to hide.
All those observations and avenues are in here. But what I get to control about myself is the comfort of being seen and witnessed by others by my choice. My nakedness. Without shame. It’s just a vagina. It’s just words.
Being me is very helpful in sessions with people. I know what I observe and what I feel and if I second-guess that all the time it dims the magic. It’s better to be how I feel. Of knowing when that’s from a good place.