“This morning, with her, having coffee”
Famously spoke Johnny Cash, about his wife, when asked about his idea of Paradise.
In San Diego, I find my peaceable moments in a similar level of simplicity.
On the porch, in the shade, with Maggie, watching the world.
In a tree, holding on, with a breeze.
In the surf, with playful waters.
In a room, doing nothing.
Paradisical.
As my time mostly away from social media extends itself I see my thoughts lengthening; pleasure in not thinking in so many bullet points and lists or sound bites, fewer new songs in my head, and much more pleasure in sitting and doing absolutely nothing except watch the world or the room I’m in.
I wonder what it’s doing to me to have more direct conversations than I do speaking out to often unresponsive masses. Or responsive ones! Or reading ideas that have no real direction at me.
I’m reading more books, at my pleasure and leisure. On social media there tends to be a feeling of not wanting to miss something, or needing to save a lot of posts because I’m afraid I’ll never find it again.
There’s more time.
I’ve gotten on a few times since the 10-day fast officially ended. One night I scrolled like I never left, and hated the results in how I felt. It made me skittish.
I continued to document my internal saga - one day being “sure” (I already knew to be skeptical of the thought) that I’d never use social media again, the next morning being sure I should make a post about mobility at Starbucks. This extended patience with myself seems to be helping me linger and wait and watch for a while longer, checking DMs and nonexistent notifications sometimes in the interim. I do kinda actually want to see the Barbie movie.
I don’t fully attribute this to social media fasts, but nearly every day I think about what I am the most excited to do and it is often breakfast with a friend, sitting in some trees reading with Maggie, or something similar. Maybe it’s cleaning my room. Or going to some cool thing my friends keep inviting me to. Something exquisitely obtainable and full of pleasure for me.
There’s so much rest.