How often have you gone to Target, gotten to the checkout line, and wondered how you bought $383.22 worth of stuff when you just came in for toothpaste?
I get that there’s a lot of cute, curated decor and doo-dads to entice you, with decent lighting and probably some other carefully managed ways to convince you that you should hang out until you decide you need more stuff. Mostly snacks. From whatever their home brand is called now.
I’m going to use a shopping trip to Target to outline a self-study program on self-confidence and trust.
Let’s say that you want to trust yourself more. Going in with one intent and coming out with another you (could) regret is a quick way to devaluate your relationship with yourself, especially if done often, but Target isn’t as big a deal as say - something to do with your bodily autonomy, like promising yourself you didn’t want to sleep with him/her on the first date but then they were just so cute and you felt just so trauma-bonded.
Target is a great place to try your new schedule out of keeping your promises to yourself. It can even have some wiggle room. Read on.
Before you enter the store:
This can be at home all the way up until you’re standing outside the door and will probably be best associated with sitting in the car before you walk in.
Decide what you want.
Do you want to:
ONLY get toothpaste, new sandals, and peanut butter?
Just meander around because you have time to kill and not buy anything?
Be specific when defining your wants.
Then:
Set your boundaries.
Just like the date, this is very important to do while you’re sober aka not inside the store, or not yet on the date in that example.
Do you want to:
Be done in 15 minutes?
Spend no more than $50?
Give yourself a limited permission, like “I want peanut butter, toothpaste, new sandals, AND one more thing/two more things/whatever I want so long as it’s not over $50 total?”
Having trouble deciding something firm? Try starting with what you definitely don’t want.
I don’t want to be in their for 2 hours! (or you do…:)) gives you a place to start defining what you do want with just a little more clarity. Sometimes these will make you laugh, and good thing, too. You need a laugh. Go big and ridiculous if it helps you to define things better.
Great! You have a program now. Stick to it. Notice how it feels to keep your promise to yourself, define what you really want or are willing to admit, and go in with intention and certainty.
Keep this energy in little actions throughout your trip.
Which way do you want to drive to the store?
Pick a parking space and stick to it even if another one opens up.
Choose your checkout line and be willing to sit and observe the anxious thoughts that come up as the other one moves way way faster.
There are all sorts of places to leak energy through flakiness and indecision.
And don’t be afraid to leave some openness, like I defined in the boundaries section. Just try it out intentionally instead of letting yourself be blindsided into something.
Have kids? Try it with them, too.
Podcast of the day: