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Most "good deeds" come from an inability to be with our own discomfort

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Most "good deeds" come from an inability to be with our own discomfort

Cutting the throat

Samantha Faulhaber
Mar 4
1
Share this post

Most "good deeds" come from an inability to be with our own discomfort

samanthafaulhaber.substack.com

Can’t stand to see someone suffer?

Pause.

Is it that if they weren’t suffering, then you would be ok?

Really? Would you? What about that other person over there and the next one?

The reason that it’s so hard to drop in to depth with most people is this pervasive cultural norm to try and save everyone or at least convince them they’re ok. And from the other side, the expectation that if I am suffering it is someone else’s responsibility to save me from it.

The drama triangle requires a victim, a savior or rescuer, and a persecutor all acting their parts to make themselves feel good.

We all play, and in so doing are reliant on someone being in each position.

Rescuers need people to rescue. Pharma needs sickness to cure.

And they both need the perception that they are the answer to the problem someone is facing.

What drives it though?

People do far less for others than they do for themselves. I’m convinced that none of us actually do much of anything for others.

Whatever actions we take are for our own temporary alleviation of suffering. No matter how selfless-seeming, we do it to make ourselves feel better.

Perhaps on some plane of existence there is a driving force that comes from spiritual advancement of our souls and lessons we are to learn.

Generally it isn’t that we can’t stand to see someone suffer, it is that we can’t stand the feeling it invokes in ourselves and we want it to just stop.

Most help is nonconsensual. Most acceptance reliant on a victim identity.

If we don’t want to do it and do, we are playing a part, continuing the play. Until ownership or non-reaction seep somewhere into the mix.

What does this bring up for you? Comment and share your own reactions.

Coming soon: 50% off all online courses, perfect for funding my trip out west.

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Most "good deeds" come from an inability to be with our own discomfort

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