German New Medicine, shamanism, EMDR, Internal Family Systems, Emotional Freedom Technique, studying water…all point to stored memories as being the halls and maps to unresolved trauma.
So if you would, try something with me and see what it does for you, just today.
Think of all the things you have historically been hypercritical of yourself around.
Then spend every moment you can either thinking or saying the opposite out loud toward yourself.
If, like me, you hated your looks a lot, you might say, “You are so beautiful” toward yourself over and over and over all day. If this feels cheeky or weird imagine you’re saying it to someone you care about instead.
That’s the technique. If you want an example, read on.
Things I’ve been hypercritical of myself around over the years:
My body, particularly hips, thighs, and stomach, and endless hours as a preteen squeezing and hating my face in the mirror
Specific memory: staring at myself in the full-length mirror squeezing my thighs and crying because I hated myself so much.
Opposite: “You are so beautiful.”
Not being good enough at Jiu-Jitsu
Specific memory: throwing my belt as a blue belt in my worst tantrum I’d ever had after training with my friend Frank at Gracie Philadelphia
Opposite: “You are good at Jiu-Jitsu.”
Not getting math right
Specific memory: on the couch, maybe 1st grade, so angry I can barely see, hating myself for not understanding things fast enough, with dad beside me
Opposite: “You are not dumb.”
I have images associated with each of these. Maybe you even have a few specific memories pop up around them, and if so, and if they don’t change after this exercise, I can help you shift your perspective around them. Literally. I had a string of clients in recent months where we dove into the types of memories whwere you say “I don’t even know why I remember this/why I thought of this but…” and had huge releases after. The memories look and feel different after sorting them out and often take place from a different camera angle. I could use a session or two with a GNM or IFS practitioner or something probably, as the going is possible but very slow when I’m trying to hold space for my own detailed resolutions.
Notice that my ‘opposites’ are really simple, like a child could understand them.
They’re also not going super deep and analytical into why I was so motivated in each picture. You might try a few things out before landing on one that hits you just right in the feels. Maybe saying “I” works better for you; I super prefer “you.” Occasionally I get juice out of one saying and then another works better for the same thing. Just rotate as often as you need as you begin to change your language toward yourself to only positive.
Good luck!
Tell us what happens down below.