There's a part of you that wants everything that's happening
Today I met a part that wants my roommate to be mad at me. It had a mischievious vibe and a child’s laugh, and last I checked was still laughing both playfully and hysterically, and nothing else needed to be done (that I could tell) for it.
I’m on my way to meeting the part of me that feels safest when people are mad at me. But it’s taking a little while, a course of days or weeks to get the space from it to even be steady enough to learn more about him or her. She overwhelms me when we talk.
I’ve grown pretty curious about what aspect of myself wants music to be playing incessantly, forever, without hardly ceasing, in my mind. I used to accept that that was just a thing I did. And now I think there’s more to that.
I’m looking for a car and think the part that needed me to own an Audi to feel important is relaxing and I’m opening up to other perfect opportunities that are out there. My next companion in this life vehicle as I lay my one to rest, my constant companion since 2009.
Is there a part of you that you’ve grown curious about? Is there something you absolutely hate that maybe you could get to know a bit better?
For example, if you hate your job, you could go, “Shit, a part of me wants to keep this job,” and then seek to know more about and befriend it so it can let go of it in a way that feels good to all of you. And you probably will realize some good points you’re not conscious of yet along the way.
Try writing things out as if in conversation with it and note what comes up for you. If possible, try not to think. Simply let the images, words, or sensations flow and jot them down as you notice them, even the subtle things you’re not quite convinced you actually felt. Even if all you have is the chronological information that you asked a question, then felt a thing, that’s definitely enough to start writing things down.
I will never believe that I am truly against myself. Not my body nor my thoughts, though it’s often much easier for me to know that about my body than it is about my thoughts.
If you do this, you’ll be closer to tuning into energy and developing a faithful relationship with things that are a part of you without identifying with them entirely.
Space comes with time and practice.
Understanding comes with space, listening, and patience.
Resolution stems from dropping assumptions and being with what is.
It helps to have a direction that you’re aiming for, of course. Values that you align with. Have you thought about yours recently? They could have changed. What are the guideposts by which you lean your decisions against?
I’m willing to bet you would like to be guided by calm, creativity, and the pursuits of what you care about, but that things often arise that seem to thwart and stand in your way. They’re not meant to be there forever.
Have a wonderful day, friends. Nothing in you is trying to hurt, thwart, or harm your progress without its reasons, and those reasons can be understood with practice.
I’m teaching these things all week.
Join me for a few sessions, while they’re still $70/hr when purchased in bulk.