What is a medicine woman
This is flowing. It doesn’t have to be work. I want to know what I think about what being a medicine woman is, and what it is about it that has me feeling so called to it.
I know that when I get the slightest visualization of leaving town I feel a rise in my insides. It’s exactly what I have taught before. It’s what I believe in. And yet there is a part of me that when given the chance will spark up in hope and look towards the idea of not leaving. Not ever. “What if,” “What if", it asks.
I should turn the light off in the kitchen.
What is it?
A medicine woman. Why do I feel called to her.
It is sitting around a fire and knowing every human that comes to me.
The medicine is the strings of stars. I’m trying hard not to use the delete key.
When I close my eyes and visualize medicine, I see a woman reaching up to space and a night sky filled with yellow stars . She seems to be calling them, using her fingers to draw them towards her. She is wearing a cloak and is beautiful, with dark, wavy hair, brown skin, feminine wrists, feminine face. She turns the stars into a baby, she is holding in her lap. It's skin is white with blue eyes. She lives in a white van. The van has black and maple wood accents. They are parked . I have the vision of a canyon. I have parts that are trying to offer up images from my thinking areas of my mind.
I’m in the canyon. The water in a cave is luminescent, lit from below, it is blue green. More green than blue. It is clear. Am I always this close to a vision quest? What if my mind were not hijacked by everything? So noisy. I feel that in my chest. I notice it near my heart. I’m still sitting by this pool in the cave. Grandmother, a Native American woman whose eyes I can barely see and long grey/white braids in front. She is lit from below like firelight like the water reflecting, pointing there. I am scared to move forward and see what she is pointing at. When I look back it seems like black wolves or foxes are stopping me. They have yellow spots for eyes in the relative dark.
I look at the ground instead by my feet. There are drawings in the dust there. House plans I am not sure . I blow the dust away. There is tile below it. White and dark blue. Medicine plans. I see a wolf howling at the moon. A scared part thinks I need a frame to contain and funnel my medicinal practices. Into something marketable. Something holding me. I feel a glowing in my stomach. I am not afraid to look at it. It’s asking me to take my fingers away from the keyboard.
I read this to my friend Azimah after sitting in meditation with it for a little while. She showed me a piece of art she’s creating that had many of the same elements I saw in my vision. We both picked up the FaceTime wearing red robes. Things are cool.