Why I will marry a fighter

Encountering discomfort that feels dangerous and relating to it is everything

Look at it this way: if a man has never used his body to fight out of a bad spot, he knows less about himself than someone that has.

Ok it’s not gonna be a Barra guy but I liked this stock photo for the article

The calibration of his reaction to dangerous situations is different from the untrained or inexperienced.

A man who has at least wrestled other men will be able to recognize [better] when his skills are up to the task in a real-life dangerous situation.

When a man has faced and moved through things that felt at one point dangerous to him, he emerges a different, more complete man than one that turns away to avoid or that has an outsized, unskilled reaction.

The man has conquered his fears and it will change him.

Now

Apply that same idea to a man that has encountered and moved through something that feels emotionally dangerous to him —

Humans (men and women both) find their own feelings the most dangerous of all. We are hideous creatures when we don’t want to feel things — biting, kicking, scratching, dissociating, spitting, hissing werewolves that will do anything to get ourselves away from an uncomfortable feeling welling up inside us. We will do anything to avoid feeling an emotion we think is dangerous. “Think” is the wrong word here. The sensations and the reactions are primal.