In one of my Instagram sorting-myself-out-live videos I realized that we are no less interdependent than we ever were in a tribal society; we’ve just removed all of the direct connection. We’ve removed all of the meaningful connection that came with that interdependency.
I use the self-checkout line at Wal-mart in order to avoid interaction with a human, and I have no connection to the human that designed or manufactured that machine and the machines that manufactured it. How far back do you have to go to get to a human that cared about what they were doing?
I avoid the human-run checkout line (maybe, this is at least partly hypothetical) because the human doing it has no connection to the thing that they are doing and I have no prior connection to him (or her) before this rather abrupt moment of meeting to accomplish something. Our interaction to accomplish our tasks (+ paying their rent and + buying my things) means almost nothing to either one of us.
I’m tired of the scraps.
While moments of real, genuine connection can be made in those glimpses in the checkout line what I really want is a meaty, filling friendship that spans the years.
I want to love and be loved by people who I am going somewhere with. Ideally forever.
It seems very self-destructive to wish for such a thing on a community level with multiple people, and I see the necessity to limit that wish to partnership and marriage. To devote myself to one person on a path which they are also loving their own personally-desired devotion to. In that way we could help each other reach towards the thing that we individually want to have. When we help each other do that, in widening circles with more people eventually, we can accomplish anything.
Trying to understand what’s happening,
Out there, in here.
Connections, connections, connections -
With all that is,
With other minds,
With my mind.
The universe unfolds,
It’s all in the seeking.